Comeditatie voor stervenden
We weten niet goed hoe om te gaan met een sterfbed van een naaste. We zijn zelf verward, verdrietig, angstig, en de stervende persoon ondergaat een proces dat we geen van allen begrijpen, noch kunnen invoelen. Om stervenden te helpen te komen in een ontspannen, heldere, serene staat van zijn is de comeditatie ontwikkeld. Deze vorm van meditatie voor twee kan ook toegepast worden bij ernstig zieken en angstige patienten. De basis van de comeditatie ligt in Tibet, waar men de invloed van het ademen op de geest als geen ander doorvorst heeft. Niemand in Nederland heeft echter ooit van deze methode gehoord, vandaar dat IOCOB er aandacht aan besteedt.Comeditatie is een proces waarbij de ademhaling steeds langzamer wordt, en de geest leeg. Een van de grootste problemen bij angst, anticipatie op het onbekende (sterven) en anticipatie op verlies (verval van de ego-structuur tijdens het sterven) is de rondrazende geest. De eindeloze gedachten over hoe had had kunnen zijn, wat er gaat gebeuren, wat er fout gaat, etc, etc. De waterval geest, zoals de Tibetanen dat noemen.
Comeditatie is ontwikkeld om dat zichzelf versterkende en angst-verwekkende patroon te doorbreken. De effecten van deze vorm van meditatie spiegelen zich af in een rustige geest, een langzame ademhaling en een serene staat van zijn.
We citeren een samenvatting van een boek van de auteur Boestler, die de comeditatie in het westen bekend heeft gemaakt, en ook onderzocht heeft:
Comeditation is offered as a simple yet powerful way to assist a dying person on her or his spiritual path during this last leg of life’s journey. Its aim, like most meditative processes used in care of the dying, is to help terminally ill people manage their anxiety, fear, confusion, and pain as they pass through this once-in-a-life- time event and, if possible, to make their dying a positive, spirit- filled passage.
What probably will be new and useful to most Western readers is the dyadic nature of comeditation. Rather than two people simply meditating together, comeditation involves the assistant ( helper) actually vocalizing sounds and meaningful spiritual phrases chosen by and on behalf of the recipient ( the person being helped). The person being helped simply breathes. This is intended to create an empathic bond between assistant and recipient that hopefully leaves the af¯ icted person feeling ªheld,º and to help him or her relax without the feelings of isolation and loneliness which often accompany people new to meditation.
The technique of comeditation, though focused on the ailing person, is intended also to be helpful in comforting the helper through such emotionally unsettling times. Having something practical and concrete to do often helps helpers overcome the common and often unbearable sense of helplessness experienced as they accompany loved ones to the ends of their lives on earth. (Balk, D. E. Death studies, Volume: 22, Issue: 2 (March 1, 1998), pp: p181, 5p).
De methode
De essentie van de methode is om naast de stervende te zitten, die in een liggende positie verkeerd, en op de uitademing de klank ahaaaaa te maken. De stervende kan deze klank meemaken, of alleen luisteren. In de beschrijving wordt ook wel melding gemaakt van 10 maal samen het geluid maken, en dan alleen luisteren naar het geluid aaahhhhhhh. De klank wordt alleen op de uitademing gemaakt. Vooraf kan een progressieve spierontspanningstechniek gegeven worden, die tegenwoordig vrij bekend is, en zelfs bij fitness scholen na de balance les gegeven wordt. Het brengen van de aandacht naar het eigen lijf, en vanaf de voeten tot het hoofd alles sensen, voelen, stap voor stap, en bij elke uitademing meer daarin ontspannen.
Als de ontspanning er is, volgt de klank op de uitademing. Hierdoor wordt de ademhaling langzamer, en ontstaat er steeds meer rust, stilte en ontspanning.
De methode is dus simpel. We citeren uit het boek:
The word comeditation signifies meditation with another. In actual practice, the primary person is the one who receives the method. The primary meditator – the recipient – assumes a position as nearly straight and flat on the back as is comfortable. The second person – the assistant – serves as a guide to prompt a progressive muscle relaxation process and to make sound cues when the recipient exhales. Following progressive relaxation, the recipient and the assistant make the sound ‘ahhh’ together.
The exhalation of old air clears the lungs of both participants, while the echoing effect of the doubled sound provides reinforcement. The assistant watches the recipient’s chest, making the chosen sounds exactly as the recipient exhales. As the session proceeds, the recipient only listens, but by hearing the expected words or sounds is able to sustain a focus that would otherwise be disturbed by a stream of thoughts.
When a patient is approaching death, comeditation is the ideal vehicle for nurturing the person’s body, emotions, and spirit. As meditation serves as an aid in dealing with physical symptoms and myriad anxieties during day-to-day living, the meditative state is even more valuable during the dying process, when variations in body chemistry bring about additional and challenging physical and mental changes.
En nog een aanvulling:
The Natural Death Handbook records (page 70) that "Richard Boerstler advocates a meditative Tibetan-inspired breathing technique. The carer copies the patient’s breathing pattern, making the sound ‘Ah’ on the outbreath, strung out as ‘Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh’. The patient may like to make the same sound at least for the first ten breaths or so, or may prefer just to listen."
Het is dus van belang om het geluid ahhhh precies te laten samenvallen met de uitademing! Daardoor wordt de uitademing van de ontvanger ook steeds langzamer. En uit de Yoga techniek van de ademhaling, de pranayama, weten we dat bij een langzame ademhaling een rustige geest ontstaat.
Gedetailleerdere beschrijving
The practice itself is very simple but requires great effort in focus and concentration on the part of the person ‘leading’ the comeditation. It is best to begin a session with some kind of total body relaxation exercise. If it is in a hospice situation and the dying person has some religious affinity, visualization of spiritual symbols or entities might be helpful, although this is not at all a prerequisite. Standard relaxation techniques can be effective as well. Once some degree of relaxation has been achieved, both comeditators share 10 deep exhalations, repeating the sound of release “Aaaaahhhhh…” on the outbreath. After these shared audible breaths, the person receiving the comeditation—that is, the client, the patient, the partner—doesn’t have to do anything except breathe. The individual taking the lead pays close attention to the rise and fall of the diaphragm of the recipient. As soon as the recipient’s exhalation begins, the cross-breathing leader also begins an audible exhalation to correspond to the exhalation of the recipient.
There have been recommendations to continue with the audible “Aaaahhh…” sound, but some people find that this is exhausting and can soon dry out the mouth and throat. Still, it is critical to the effectiveness of the whole session that the exhalation of the facilitator be quite audible even if the recipient’s breathing is silent. There is a qualitative difference to the experience when the recipient knows through their sense of hearing that another person is breathing in precise rhythm with them. the concentrated presence of one person meets the relaxed presence of another. Activity and passivity ebb and flow in harmony with the breath.
There have been profound effects resulting from periods of comeditation, even in circumstances where a patient was not fully conscious of a facilitator breathing in harmony with them. (Even in a comatose state, there is evidence that deeper relaxation can be realized when a facilitator sits with and breathes in attentive synchronicity along with the comatose individual. This was reported to me directly by a hospice worker who had done the practice with me.) The practice can be carried on effectively in any posture, although deeper relaxation can usually be achieved with the recipient lying down on their back. However, depending on the degree of pain and other physical impairments, it may be necessary to experiment with a number of different postures.
Bronnen
Boerstler, R. W. AUTHOR’S COMMENTARY: A HOLISTIC AND MEDITATIVE APPROACH TO THE DYING PROCESS.Journal of personal and interpersonal loss, Volume: 4, Issue: 2 (April 1, 1999), pp: p195-200.
A review of Awareness of Mortality edited by Jeffrey Kauffman. Amityville, NY: Baywood, 1995. 233 pp. ISBN 0-89503-174-4. $34.95. Also a review of Confronting Death: Values, Institutions, and Human Mortality by David Wendell Moller. New York: Oxford University Press, 1996. 305 pp. ISBN 0-19-504296 ( pap) . $17.95. Reviewed by Lloyd D. Noppe and Illene C. Noppe.
Boerstler, R. W. "Comeditation: a Thanatological Aid" – in the International Journal of Yoga Therapy (issue 10 – 2000) en
"A holistic and meditative approach to the dying process" – in the Journal of Personal and Interpersonal Loss (issue 4 – 1999).